Source: trust

You Missed Me, Didn’t You? You Big Cum Dumblrz.

I haven’t maintained this page in quite a while. Here’s some new grub for you, kids.

Since I’ve been on here last, I have shaved my head, lost a lover because of my shaved head, gained a better lover because of my shaved head, learned the bedroom secrets of master chefs, and spent many hours outdoors in the sun wandering around, sniffing delectable spring blooms.

Some of the spring blooms were fantastic, and some of them smelled like vagina funk. I am speaking specifically about those little ornamental crabtrees planted around the parking lot on campus. They look like they’re going to smell like apple blossoms, but, as I stated earlier, they smell like…oh, never mind. 

I spent a lot of time fretting about continuing my “education” at USI, for a variety of reasons. For one thing, I’m really lazy and I don’t like having to pass a bunch of core classes before jumping into the classes that seem most immediately pertinent to my major. 

Secondly, I’ve been feeling absolutely directionless lately. I got an idea in my head about midway through this semester to quit school here and begin again at a trade school in Fort Wayne, to study to be a veterinary technician. It has a much more professional ring to it; “I’m studying to be a veterinary technician.” However, I’m not even sure if I want to go that route. I’ll get into that a little farther down the blog, though.

Thirdly, I’m tired of people thinking I’m some sort of bong-ripping loser who’s only going for a writing degree because I’m somehow lacking in mental utility. Whenever I tell people I’m a creative writing major, they’re like “Ohhh, honey,” and try to keep tears of sympathy from welling up in their eyes. Then they try to work in a story about how their uncle or whoever really turned his life around with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous into our conversation somehow.

That’s a joke; most of people usually tell me that they envy my creativity and say they wish they could pursue a creative endeavor of some sort. To this I usually reply,

“Yeah, me too.”

I haven’t written anything in ages, and I haven’t been devoting any time to my schoolwork whatsoever. I’m frantic, and I’m beginning to think what little ambition I have is being squandered somehow…that I’m chasing the wrong rabbit…that I’m the rabbit full of worms and rabies, rather than the rabbit full of magic and fairy dust that will take me to a fantastic world where little girls like me can trip on mushrooms and smoke hookah with big scary caterpillars.

The more I learn about the real world, though, the more I wish I would have spent more time thinking about what I could do to improve it years before I started college. I wish I would have spent less time “chasing rabbits” and thinking about what I could do to help myself, and spent more time thinking about I could do to help myself help others. I wish I would have spent more time thinking about politics,the monetary system, art, environmental protection, human and animal rights. Those are big topics. Those are the big enchilada issues. (Though I complained earlier about the liberal arts curriculum, I wouldn’t have known about or been interested in half of what is going on around the world if I would have skipped the core classes and just taken a bunch of creative writing workshops.)

I want to be a problem solver. I can write, yes. Billions of other people can write, too, and trying to be more clever, more imaginative, and more descriptive than them is only going to make me want to drive my fuzzy little head through a wall. What can I DO? That is the question! Can I assist in the eventual overthrow of everything I have ever resented about this world? Can I help move this nation toward a better, cleaner, more compassionate and environmentally sustainable future, and eventually, lead other countries in the same direction?

I’m not sure. I’m not sure if being a veterinary technician (the person who preps animals for surgery, administers medicines to them, holds their heads while the vet shoves his/her hand up their rectums, but doesn’t do any specialized work) is the right path either. In a few years, I hope people give up on owning pets completely, because so many of them are totally morally unequipped to do so. I will be obsolete, and I don’t want that. That’s the last thing I want. 

So what should I do? What can I do? I suppose I’ll stick around for a while and try to find out…

Cheers to another semester of classes at USI! *downs a glass of bourbon*